On the brink

I sat down and thought about it. I thought, perhaps my expectations are high. So I made a decision, to lower my expectations and stick with the basics. If you're lost at this point in time, do not fret. I am talking about the obvious - dating.

But I realised that EVEN when I decide to look for the basics, it is not there. Maybe I'm giving off some vibes that I am some rich kid.
- "Hey, so you're going to pay for me right?"

I certainly do not expect a man to pay for me. A guy friend of mine once told me "Hey, all you women talk about gender equality right? Why is it that you expect the men to always pay for you'll?" Ok, fine. I concur with my friend on that because gone are the days where only men used to work and women were just docile, subservient beings who just took care of households. Women work these days and toil just as hard to earn that extra penny. So a woman CAN pay for herself. I personally don't need a guy to pay for me. But, if I can pay for myself, so can you. My basic expectation was - you pay for yourself, and I will pay for myself. So, even though I lowered my expectation, it was of no use.

Then, if me being a rich kid wasn't enough, I'm beginning to think maybe I'm also suggesting that I'm really into physical intimacy.
- "Hey, so if it happens it happens, you know what I mean. I mean when we are hungry we eat isn't it. So same thing, if we feel it, we can do it what. Nothing wrong with that"

That's very true. When we're hungry we eat. When we feel horny(to put it in a crude way), we engage in physical intimacy. So, aren't we any different from animals? Don't we possess sixth sense? Doesn't it enable us to make choices, make decisions, and THINK? When we are hungry we eat - but unlike animals where they just go solely by their instincts, we can choose to do something else. We can choose. So when my 'date' doesn't even realise something as basic as this, what's the point of me lowering my expectations?

I mean I decided to move out of my shell due to my friends constantly pestering me, telling me that I need to meet new guys and I need someone new in my life. But hey, I tried. And these guys are not 18-yr-olds. They are all 22 and above. So, what can I do?

I shall go back to having my initial level of high expectations and embrace singlehood for the rest of my life as a result of that.